On my knees,

in front of a guy

The unholiest thing I have done

is begging him for the bare minimum,

like maybe as long as he’s near me,

I won’t keep breaking down.

On my knees,

before a man

The saddest thing I have done

is hoping his mere presence will be enough

to soothe my anxieties,

ever since the lavender stopped working

I have had to turn to other methods,

methods like false gods and false loves,

to numb the pain of my existence.