“Always.”

Except we parted ways

You wanted to do some growing without me

And I couldn’t be bothered with waiting

“Always.”

Except those feelings faded to match the blue jeans

That he once complimented

And recalling his stunning gaze does nothing for me now

“Always.”

Except our communication died out

We let our joyous conversation become a dull eerie silence

And I want to reach out but maybe some ends are meant to be messy and stay loose

Forever, if that word even means anything

In three months time it’ll be the birthday for one of my most favorite guys

Then my best friend’s, a few days later

As she liked to boast, she was born three months prior

To my entry into this world

Was this all meant to be?

The boy whose face is shielded by freckles,

The girl who’s laugh is a little too loud

I’m holding on to hope

The boy who hides his every battle,

The person relying too much on other people

Will we last? Will we make it so far as

To getting those matching tattoos;

Going to college together, sharing that dorm room?

Will I get the chance to take her on that roller coaster

Or meet his kids when I’m visiting New York?

What about that picture, our enlistment, those cars?

I love you, I love you,

I fucking love you

You should know I do

There’s so much empathy and support

Platonic, romantic, familial

I miss you, I want you,

I hear you

I am here for you

Presently speaking, for the time being, I’ve got your back

Please believe me when I tell you how amazing

You are

I don’t just choose anybody to love so damn fiercely

I’m sorry you’re going to have to learn to be happy with being

My almost always